It’s the new trend that can happen to just about anyone.
The act of ceasing all communication from someone to the point where you question if that person still exists or ever existed in the first place.
It’s hurtful, it’s cowardly and has deservedly gained a pathetic reputation.
I struggled writing about this for a long time because it happened to me. Not from a boyfriend or someone I had been dating, but my BEST FRIEND (let’s call her Kat). Someone who I’d met when I was 12 in my first year of high school. We spent our days on the same netball team. She took me out to my first night club when I turned 18, and she was with me through every up and every single down (and there were a few). We shared the stresses of year 12 and spent most of our days together.
But come the end of year 12 and although we drifted we were still seeing each other 3-4 times a week. Then, the beginning of the end… Kat had a falling out with about 3 of the girls in our 5 person group which consequently left me and her. However, the argument hadn’t involved me. I still considered myself friends with these girls that Kat suddenly loathed. She didn’t give me an ultimatum or anything like that. In fact she actually encouraged me to spend time with these girls and she promised that it would in no way compromise our strong, sturdy friendship. But immediately after my first interaction with them there was a shift. She stopped answering texts because she was “busy” and came up with every excuse in the book as to why she couldn’t meet up. The thing that kept me clinging on to this relationship though was that she was never cold to me. If I saw her at a party she’d run up to me and hug me like nothing was wrong, spend the whole night with me and SWORE that she’d start keeping in contact again.
Empty lies, empty lies.
I’d cared so much for this person and I thought she had cared for me. A few weeks after my last attempt at texting her, her sister was badly injured in a car accident. As soon as I found out I called her immediately but was answered by her voicemail. I could understand that, she was probably under a lot of stress. I gave it a few days and sent her a text asking how the family was doing only to be responded to with, “Fine. Bye”.
I felt like I’d lost her and that in some way she’d died. I went through every grieving process there was: denial, anger, grief, depression and acceptance. I couldn’t in any way imagine why she had done this. She said that what I was doing was ok…clearly not. This had never happened to me before and I was so upset and it hurt so damn much. Kat had been a big part of my memories and recalling them divested me. So I hd to figure out how to move on (t’was not easy).
What was hard about it was I didn’t have anyone going through a similar thing and I was seriously pissed. I cried not because I was sad but because I was so so angry. But once I got that anger out in the open, I suddenly felt like a load had been taken off. I became close with the girls who had been shunned by Kat and I was able to share my feelings which was thankfully mutual. It took some time but I moved on. While apart of me still hopes that I might get a text or a phone call from Kat explaining everything, I know that this will not happen. They were nice memories but now that’s all they are: memories, and I am now more determined than ever to make more with the friends I currently have. Will they stay or will they go? Who know’s but here’s to enjoying it while I can.
Until next time xxx